My Soul is Filling.....

At the end of May this year, I was laid off of work. This wasn't the type of layoff that one would expect to be called back from, so I'm not sure why they call it a layoff....I guess that's to cushion the blow. Anyway, I was stunned. Knew it was coming, but my emotional self took over for several hours. And then, I was ok. Really, ok.

I felt ok. I got my ducks in a row. I started applying for jobs immediately. I made a list of all the good things that might come of having this time to be home and I must say that helped me not to panic. I'm a silver lining girl all the way.  I know many people who are out of work right now. I hold each of their stories in my heart and root for them to get back to work, too. I feel guilty that I am making the best of this time off. I don't make light of anyone's situation and I feel the pain, my friends. But I want to share my list. My good things list. My silver lining list.

1. I've accomplished stuff. My hall closet is clean and functional!
2. I've enjoyed whole days and not worried about having enough time to do things.
3. I've finished reading one book (Freakonomics) and have two more cued up - 1. Fiction-The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood and 2. Non-Fiction - I Love it When You Talk Retro - both of which I found for 89 cents at Goodwill (see #6).
4. I've made my yard lovely again - with the help of my sister, her hubby and my dear, Invisibob.
5. I've been the "driving mom" for the first time in many years. And I've been happy to do it.
6. I've wandered around the Goodwill stores in my neighborhood, finding treasures. Don't scoff, my money supports their mission and the treasures look great in my yard!
7. I let my kids have sleepovers - heck, I don't have to get up for work in the morning, why not?
8. I've gone to Thursday morning matinees with my dear, IB. (See #4, Bob is known as Invisibob because 1. He does not appear in photographs willingly, and 2. He didn't start appearing at family functions until we'd been together for a while. My dad dubbed him "Invisibob" as a joke, and it stuck.)
9. I've stopped eating fast food and started cooking again -can't say that I don't have the time to cook!
10. I've taught Matt to cook English muffin pizzas (at least I'll know he can make something!)

11. Ana and I pulled out the food processor and made a cantaloupe granita this week- yum!

We're also growing our own herbs: lots of basil for pestos and pizzas, cilantro, parsley, and dill. And, our cucumber plants are coming along nicely.
12. I've indulged myself in art and music - something I haven't had time for in a long time.

13. I had a picnic in my backyard for the first time in the 7 years I've lived here. Ok, I kind of had to force the kids to join me, but it was a good time, nonetheless.

I'm so thankful that I have a family who is there to help me out and be supportive as I look for a job. I have a second interview with the same company next week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm ready to go back - my soul is filled up again.

The Beach...Souveniers...Part 2

I'm sure if you've been to the beach, you've come home with sand, too....I've come to realize, I hate sand. At this time in my life, sand is an enemy to be avoided.

Now, sure, I was delighted to see my kids digging in the sand, covering each other up, and I'm sure they were also enjoying covering themselves up in sand and then going in the lake (Lake Michigan, by the way), to rinse off. I know they enjoyed it...Matt even told his cousin that he liked playing in the sand more than playing with his Nintendo DS...whoa.

But dragging my heaviness loaded down with bags and towels and chairs and food through the hot sand, in my flip flops was not as much fun as it sounds. Eating sand in my sandwich (oh the irony) and drinking sand, hmmm. And then there's the sand I brought home in my bag and my clothers....didn't like it then either.

I DID like the sand in the lake, I liked how it shifted under my feet. I liked how it was solid, and if I moved, it moved too. I liked how through the clear water of the lake, I could see the ripples the waves made in the sand.

Next time (ha), I'll just have to be more prepared, and do this sand thing a little smarter. It might take a while to figure that out.

The Beach....I think you missed a spot....part 1

Ok, I've been a "stay away from the sun" girl for several years. This may have contributed to my Vitamin D deficiancy, which my doctor detected a few months ago. I've stayed out of the sun for a number of reasons- wrinkles, skin cancer....sweat. But when it comes down to it, the biggest reason is I get sunburned. Ouch. Even when I put on sunblock, I get burned. Case in point, yesterday, at the beach....I put on sunblock, yes I did....twice....and I still am left with spots of burn. No matter how much I put on, I miss spots and I don't know until later when my skin glows the ugly red of the burn.

The Best Day Ever! but I should have listened to my sister.

Yesterday, showed a lot of promise to be a pretty good day. I was back from my business trip, the kids didn't have any activities to be carted to, and it was warm for the first time, it seemed, in the whole summer.

My nephew and niece, Nick and Sam, were fishing in a "derby" by my parents, and we were going to watch. Ana's dad called in the morning saying he needed to borrow her - she was getting sushi, her favorite date with her dad. Matt and I had our stimulating Anakin flowers conversation.

To my surprise, Matt decided to fish too. As soon as his line was in, there was a fish on the end. Was he excited! There was a wonderful breeze by the water...barely felt warm at all. I haven't been outside all summer, didn't think about the sun too much...I spent more thoughts on taking pictures of the kids and fish, watching the clouds, and feeling the earth under my back as I lay on the ground.

After fishing, Ana rejoined us and we went in the pool. I hadn't been in the pool all summer - even Matt commented that he thought I didn't go swimming enough. I love the weightless effect the water has on my body. I played with the kids and had the best time! I swear, I put on my sunscreen. Later, we had a great dinner with my parents, and watched Mama Mia! twice.

In retrospect, I hear my sister saying as we were putting on the sunscreen, that she didn't "trust" it. Hmmm. Should have listened to her. Today, I look like a scary red clown. I have creepy tan lines around my eyes where my sunglasses were. My skin is tight and I've slathered on so much aloe I'm kind of sticky. However, I still think it was the perfect summer day, for me.